Crushed

Sahara has been hoping for dance classes for a while now. When a friend mentioned a ballet/tap class for 3 - 5 year olds starting up this week we signed up both our girls. When I registered over the phone I asked if she needed to wear anything in particular or if we needed to bring ballet/tap shoes. No, I was assured that all would be provided and that "comfortable" clothes were the best.

Yesterday morning we headed out, so excited, for the first class. When we arrived and opened the door, we walked into a room full of pinks and whites - 10 little girls in leotards and tights. Sahara buried her face in my shoulder, whispering her "need" to be wearing the same thing. My heart sunk with hers.

Luckily we found some ballet shoes that sort of fit and after some coaxing she joined the group for simple movements and fun.

Half-way through the class the teacher announced it was time to change into tap shoes. A few children had brought their own, the rest were told to head over to the bench and find some that fit. I thought the teacher would help with that and so remained attentive to Lydia, only to notice a few moments later that the teacher had walked away and that parents were helping their children find shoes. I walked over to Sahara who was talking to the teacher no where to be found, "Teacher, these don't fit." The two pairs of shoes left where way too big, and way too small. I found the teacher, asked if there were any more, to which she replied, "No, sorry."

Ug. Sahara was near tears, and so was I, because the feeling was so real inside from some forgotten memory or memories many years ago.

I held on tightly to her and encouraged her to practice the steps alongside the others, telling her she could still do it even though she didn't have the tap shoes. She refused, but didn't want to leave, so we sat together outside of the circle.

She is over it. I am not.

I put in a call to the woman in charge, haven't heard back.

I'm tempted to take her out of the class and ask for our money back. But I'm not sure if that is the best for her.

How do you teach a 3 1/2 year old that it doesn't matter if you don't fit in? Is it even possible at this stage in her development? 6 months ago it wouldn't have affected her as it does now.

The rest of the day yesterday was lovely though. While Lydia was napping, Sahara and I had a tea party with honey tea and animal cookies. During her nap time, I finished sewing her a cute linen skirt which she wore the rest of the day. And for dinner we had mac + cheese, a favorite comfort food for all of us.